Whoever said being a parent was the hardest job on the planet knew exactly what they were talking about. Of course, I’m sure that wise person was a woman 😉There are just some days that I want to crawl into a dark corner, tuck myself into the fetal position and cry. I love my kids SO much. My heart literally is overwhelmed with my devotion to them and there isn’t a minute of this day that goes by that they aren’t on my mind. They are my family, my reason for waking up every day and though they are small, they are my rock.
Every day is pretty unpredictable. Sure, we know the plans for the day…. Wake up, school, practice, bedtime at 8; that’s concrete. However mix in four different personalities, two of which are pre-teen and emotionally erratic, and that concrete can turn to sand. No amount of parenting classes or books could have ever prepared me for this. Each one of my children is completely unique. Their talents, strengths and weaknesses are all completely different from each other. What I have found works to motivate my oldest child doesn’t even phase the second, and certainly not my third. It’s like a constant battle of wits on my part to stay ahead of the parenting game. I can’t even honestly say it is getting easier as they get older. When they were 2, 3 and 4 years old I considered that the hardest time of my life. Juggling diapers, pull-ups, potty training, sippy cups, carseats, temper-tantrums – at that time I looked about as frazzled as one human can possibly be. And every day I kept it together with the hope that they would get older, more independent, and life would get easier.
Well, I was wrong. But that’s ok, I wouldn’t trade a second of it if I could. The lessons from our most difficult struggles are some of the most influential moments of my life. I genuinely believe that those points in life where you crack, those meltdowns, that is where strength grows from. That being said, today I did some more growing ☺️ I’m at a point in the year where there are a lot of projects, tons of deadlines, programs, one kid needs ball pants, the other needs recital stuff, “by the way mom I don’t have any shoes that fit anymore.” Laundry is piling up higher than the washer, the dog is ridiculously muddy, my brakes needed replaced like yesterday and those three adorable faces still keep demanding I feed them occasionally 😣 It can wear a person down.
Sometimes when I’m venting to friends, I hear the same advice over and over again. “Learn to say ‘no’ and you don’t have to be involved in everything.” But it’s not that easy, and I think that’s why it’s so heavy on my heart to voice this today. I am blessed with AMAZING friends who are wonderful parents and responsible and respectable, but they all have something in common: they’re married. They may get frustrated with their husbands from time to time, but they still have that partner to team up with. Now, let’s make sure my point is coming out clearly here. I may not have chose the single life, and I am certainly capable of rocking it, but it is twice the workload and sometimes I just need that other adult to stand there and let me verbally vomit everything that’s built up. People, the best thing in the world you can offer your single parent friend is an ear. It’s not that I am signing my kids up for every sport, every type of lesson, involving myself purposely, well, maybe purposely, but for what purpose? I love my kids and I want the community they’re growing up in to be the best it can be. That requires my participation. I will never be ok with just sitting back and complaining about how everyone else is influencing our town. I am passionate about community activity. Also, by involving them in one sport each gives them the opportunity to develop their talents, to shape their strengths which is only going to benefit them later in life. I can’t hold them back from these learning experiences just because I’m a single parent. So with that comes three times the practice, and three times the smelly clothes!
So when we have mornings like we had today, the kind that everything seems to be going wrong and there are tears and raised voices and you’re a sobbing mess by the time you get to work because you feel like as the parent, there’s a hundred different things you could’ve done to prevent that situation. You might beat yourself a bit. Sometimes I feel like an absolute failure. I’m even guilty of turning my car around on my way to work, driving back to the kid’s school and pulling them out of class just to give them a hug and a kiss and tell them that I love them. That might not seem that ludicrous to those of you like me who never want to leave those you love on angry terms (you just never know if that’s the last time you will talk to them.) But it’s not the end of the world and tomorrow will be a new day. And I believe the most important thing you can do for your kids is to make them understand that they are loved. The rest is just life and we are learning day by day, sometimes I’m not sure who’s teaching who more, but learning just the same. So…. If ya’ll find that parenting manual with all the answers, be sure to hand it to me! Until then, happy hump day folks!
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